Theological Journal – July 30 “I only want my kids to be happy”

Every parent wants their kids to be happy above all else, right? I’m not so sure. I want my kids to be holy, be sure of their identity and vocation, and, then, if possible in world such as ours, happy. Happiness, at least as we account it, seems a distant and doubtful possibility in our fallen world.

By happiness we usually hope our children will have secure and reasonably trouble-free lives, make some contribution to their world, that their kids will be healthy, high-achievers, good students, and get into a good college. That they marry and bear healthy children who are likewise happy, and on it goes.

For a Christian, though, I’m not sure how much of that really matters. Biblically, though the language of “happiness” is sometimes used (Psa.1), it is always a consequence of holiness. And holiness means a single-minded, whole-hearted commitment to God embodied in a way of life that like God’s is oriented to the healing and health of his broken world. Further, we should hope for them a clear biblical sense of identity and vocation.

Much confusion exists here. Careful reading of the creation stories, our best place to discover what God has made us for, makes it clear the creation is to be God’s temple in which he intends to live with humanity forever. And humanity itself, you and I, are made in God’s image, royal priests in his creational temple. We are to protect this temple (the creation) and extend its boundaries from its embryonic start in the Garden of Eden to its worldwide scope in God’s new creation (Rev.21-22). This is what we know of God’s will for us: that in whatever we do to earn a living or keep our families we do so as these royal priests. And what priest characteristically do is mediate knowledge of God to the world and of the world to God. As we do this in ways appropriate to our settings and situations, we are living out God’s will for us.

(BTW, if God needs us in a specific place performing specific tasks at a specific time, he has no trouble getting our attention and letting us know that (think, Moses). Short of that, though, I believe God wants us to choose the jobs we want and we want to live as best we can and go there and work in those places as royal priests. I don’t think we need to await a specific word on each of these matters and fret over whether we made the choice in line with God’s will.)

Back to happiness, life as royal priests in our kind of world will seldom be “happy” as we usually think of it. Rather it will often be a conflicted, messy, troubled, sometimes even dangerous life. A life Jesus says  will be lived by the spiritually empty, those who mourn over the mess God’s people and world are in, long without relief in this life for God’s righteousness, are peacemakers in the midst of trouble, and “rejoice” when they get dumped on for their royal priestly lives. Yet they are called “blessed” or “happy” by him.

Happiness (as defined at the beginning) as a goal or an aim seldom leads to lives of substance and integrity. Lives directed to holiness and a biblical sense of identity and vocation leads to the latter and also to happiness. This happiness is not the self-satisfied sense that things have pretty much worked out for us and our kids. No, it is, rather, a sense of deep contentment that our lives and those of our kids have been lived well and in alignment with the life of the One who alone finally matters.

So, if you really want your kids to be happy . . .