The Apostles' Creed for theothanatologians

http://www.faith-theology.com/2013/10/the-apostles-creed-for.html

by Kim Fabricius

I don’t believe in God:

not in the Father (Old Nobodaddy);

nor in the Almighty (aka the Big Other);

and as for “Creator” – well, not ex nihilo – no way;

but maybe I believe in the “God” of radical Process Theology,

maybe “God” worked a world from the shit he’d been given

and then became otiose or moribund,

or maybe “God” is just an obfuscation for “world”,

or maybe shit just happens.

I certainly believe that “God”, “Father”, “Almighty”, “Creator”

are signifiers of “transcendence”,

and that all transcendence-talk is irredeemably ideological,  

that all transcendence-talk inevitably legitimates oppression.

In short, I believe that transcendence is a univocal no-no.

(Let’s cut out the Greek metaphysical crap and cut to the chase.)

I believe that if ever there was a “God” not identical to the world,

or to the “historical process”,

he became” im-man-ent” (M&M’s for short) in Jesus of Nazareth,

lover, poet, all-around bad-ass,

crucified under Pontius Pilate,

dead – caputo – and buried.

In short, I believe that the deity committed deicide,

that “God” became an ex-“God” in Jesus,

and that Jesus then became an ex-Jesus, a Nazarene Blue.

I believe that the resurrection and ascension are phooey.

(Which takes me to the third section of the Creed,

though don’t read anything trinitarian into this format, it’s just a convention.)

I believe in the Holy Spirit,

“God’s” M&M’s  

in the holy catholic church,

the communion of saints

(nod to Hegel, but just kidding!)

in the world,

more specifically in communities of love and justice.

I don’t believe in the forgiveness of sins

(only “God” can forgive but, er, “God” is dead),

but I believe that violence can be redemptive

and I believe that, notwithstanding all the assholes,

we can create a better world.

I believe in continental philosophy everlasting.

(And if you think this creed is funny, va te faire foutre!)