The Apostles' Creed for theothanatologians
I don’t believe in God:
not in the Father (Old Nobodaddy);
nor in the Almighty (aka the Big Other);
and as for “Creator” – well, not ex nihilo – no way;
but maybe I believe in the “God” of radical Process Theology,
maybe “God” worked a world from the shit he’d been given
and then became otiose or moribund,
or maybe “God” is just an obfuscation for “world”,
or maybe shit just happens.
I certainly believe that “God”, “Father”, “Almighty”, “Creator”
are signifiers of “transcendence”,
and that all transcendence-talk is irredeemably ideological,
that all transcendence-talk inevitably legitimates oppression.
In short, I believe that transcendence is a univocal no-no.
(Let’s cut out the Greek metaphysical crap and cut to the chase.)
I believe that if ever there was a “God” not identical to the world,
or to the “historical process”,
he became” im-man-ent” (M&M’s for short) in Jesus of Nazareth,
lover, poet, all-around bad-ass,
crucified under Pontius Pilate,
dead – caputo – and buried.
In short, I believe that the deity committed deicide,
that “God” became an ex-“God” in Jesus,
and that Jesus then became an ex-Jesus, a Nazarene Blue.
I believe that the resurrection and ascension are phooey.
(Which takes me to the third section of the Creed,
though don’t read anything trinitarian into this format, it’s just a convention.)
I believe in the Holy Spirit,
(nod to Hegel, but just kidding!)
in the world,
more specifically in communities of love and justice.
I don’t believe in the forgiveness of sins
(only “God” can forgive but, er, “God” is dead),
but I believe that violence can be redemptive
and I believe that, notwithstanding all the assholes,
we can create a better world.
I believe in continental philosophy everlasting.
(And if you think this creed is funny, va te faire foutre!)