Ten Things You Never Hear in Church

1. Personally, I find witnessing much more enjoyable than golf.
2. I’ve decided to give our church the $500/month I used to send to TV evangelists.
3. I volunteer to be the permanent teacher for the Jr. High Sunday School class.
4. Forget the denominational minimum salary. Let’s pay our pastor so he or she can live like we do.
5. Nothing inspires me and strengthens my commitment like our annual stewardship campaign.
6. I was so enthralled, I never noticed your sermon was 25 minutes too long.
7. Pastor, we’d like to send you to this Bible seminar in the Bahamas.
8. Hey! It’s my turn to sit in the front pew!
9. I love it when we sing hymns I’ve never heard before.
10. Since we’re all here, let’s start worship early.

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